How Much to Tip Wedding Vendors? Why Gratuity for Photographers, DJs, and Caterers is a Hot Mess and What to Do Instead

You don’t need me to tell you that tipping culture has gotten so out of hand, we now have self-checkout machines asking for 25% tips. And we have no one to blame but ourselves for feeding into this culture in the first place. But not me. I have never believed in (monetary) tipping, so much so that I refuse to spend my money at businesses that demand it—which is practically every sit-down restaurant out there. I can’t even remember the last time I ate at one.

Why? Because tipping should be a voluntary gesture of appreciation for a job well done, not an obligation that makes you feel guilty for skipping it. And yet, these days, it feels like society has been conditioned to tip for just about everything. But when was the last time you tipped the cashier at Buc-ee's or City Wok? Probably never. Yet somehow, we all instinctively pause to calculate a tip for the Olive Garden waitress who just buried our pasta under a pound of cheese. And it’s not even about good service anymore—tipping’s expected for just doing your jeerrrb. Like, the bare minimum of the job description.

Which brings us to your wedding. As you plan, should tipping wedding vendors be necessary? After all, you’re already spending a shit ton of money on their services. Yet wedding publications insist tipping is practically mandatory, breaking it down by vendor and percentage. Brides even encourage future brides-to-be to tip their vendors too. So it’s no wonder tipping culture feels so inflated in the wedding industry, and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

How Much to Tip Wedding Vendors

Now, even though I don’t believe in tipping, I recognize that many people do. So let me make it easier and save you from the stress of using those convoluted tip calculators every wedding publication tells you to use. Simply put, if you do want to tip, slide your vendors a Benjamin if they’re there for more than 4–5 hours. If they’re there less than that, slip 'em a fifty. Place the bills in an envelope and have your planner, coordinator, or maid of honor hand them out—preferably before the day gets going.

The Unspoken Hierarchy of Wedding Vendors

There’s an unspoken—but very much followed—hierarchy of wedding vendors who usually get a tip, starting with the planner at the top, followed by the venue, photographer and or videographer, and DJ. But I’d argue that every vendor you’ve chosen for your wedding is just as important as the next one. Which makes it feel kind of random, like there’s no real logic behind who gets tipped and who doesn’t. And we have no one to blame but the "experts" in mainstream wedding blogs who got us into this hot mess in the first place.

The Convoluted Etiquette of Tipping Wedding Vendors

A quick Google search on tipping wedding vendors makes one thing clear—tipping in the wedding industry is a confusing, unfair mess. Thanks to publications like Zola, Brides, and The Knot, couples are bombarded with convoluted tipping guides that dictate who to tip and how much, often implying that some vendors are more deserving than others. The Knot’s Vendor Tipping Cheat Sheet, for example, highlights specific vendors to tip, while Martha Stewart Weddings and Brides.com suggest skipping tips for business owners altogether.

Even U.S. News recommends tipping only the staff, not the business owners—creating an unnecessary hierarchy among vendors, despite everyone pulling their weight on your wedding day. And let’s not forget that Brides once published an article suggesting photographers and videographers should "pack a lunch" rather than expect a meal—advice so bad they eventually deleted it. But as the saying goes, Pepperidge Farm Remembers.

Personally, I don’t eat at weddings—I work best on an empty stomach and much prefer a drink or two from the bar. That said, many vendors appreciate a hot meal during grueling 8–12 hour days. Feeding your team the same meal as your guests, rather than handing them a sad, cold box lunch, is a simple, meaningful way to show appreciation without falling into the tipping rabbit hole.

Sneaky Service Charge and Gratuity Fees

Many venues and caterers tack on mandatory service charges, gratuity fees, and 'recommended' percentage tips for staff—often calculated before tax—forcing you to pay thousands in tips. Yet, no one in this industry can tell you with a straight face why you, the client, are responsible for subsidizing vendor employees’ salaries just because they’re too cheap to pay them a living wage. And don’t get me started on how California now allows restaurants to add mandatory junk fees, all thanks to powerful lobbying groups.

What Is a Service Charge? Does It Count as a Tip, and Are These Fees Legal?

A service charge is a fee collected to pay for services related to a primary product or service being purchased. Legally, it belongs to the employer and may be distributed to employees at the business owner's discretion. In contrast, tips are considered the direct earnings of the employee. According to California’s labor code, service fees are not considered tips. However, some businesses treat them as tips anyway—so if you tip on top of a service fee, that business is essentially double-dipping. Always read your contract thoroughly, and don’t let wedding vendors (or any other business) guilt you into tipping after they've already tacked on additional service fees.

Wedding Vendor Gratuity: Non-Monetary Tip Alternatives

While I can't speak for every wedding vendor you'll encounter, I can tell you that most don’t expect cash tips—but they’ll certainly appreciate them. That said, these tip alternatives will show your appreciation without costing you a dime—just a few minutes of your time—and will mean the world to most wedding vendors.

Don’t haggle with your vendors for discounts.
Share your vendor’s website with friends and family.
Let your vendors enjoy a drink or two from the bar.
Give your vendors the same meal as your guests—not a sad, cold box lunch.
Follow your vendors on social media. Like, comment, and share their posts.
Recommend your vendor to friends and family—the tip that keeps on giving.
Submit your wedding photos to wedding publications on behalf of your vendors.
Suggest your favorite podcaster, YouTuber, or blogger invite your vendor as a guest.
Write a five-star review on Google, or better yet, record a quick 30-second testimonial video.

Yes, something as simple as a five-star review on Google Maps can mean the world to a wedding vendor—far more than a monetary tip. But again, don’t feel obligated to tip anyone. We all know how much of an investment it takes to put a wedding together, and no vendor should ever feel entitled to a tip.