Because Bridesmaids and Groomsmen are Supposed to Scare Away Demons and Half of Ya’ll Don’t Even Believe in Bigfoot

If there’s one thing I can say about my hometown of Oaxaca, Mexico is that it runs deep with tradition. So deep, you got people over here venerating God knows what with sus traditions like offering blood to the "mountain spirit" at a mountaintop. And when you ask why, the only answer you get is, "Oh, it's tradition." So, it's no surprise I questioned every single tradition observed in both weddings and quinceañeras when I started booking my own clients.

One said "tradition" I always and will continue to question is the inclusion of the bridal party (wedding party), aka bridesmaids and groomsmen. Like next to looking pretty, why do people have both bridesmaids and groomsmen in their wedding? Who started this tradition and why? Why do so many people cling on to the tradition of having a bridal party without knowing its origins or even questioning its necessity? And it’s a practice often seen as mandatory, yet few can explain why it even exists in the first place. Well, gather around Girl Scouts, because this drunk is about to spit some facts on the bridal party tradition.

But first, let's break down what I mean by bridal party versus wedding party. Technically speaking, the wedding party is the squad who shows up in the ceremony with the couple: maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and children like the flower girl or ring bearer. And the bridal party is the team the bride picks to back her up on her big day. But to be honest, people use these terms interchangeably so for the purposes of this essay, I will be referring to both bridesmaids and groomsmen as the bridal party.

The Outdated Role of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen: A Quick History

Historically, the bridal party—made up of groomsmen and bridesmaids—dressed exactly like the bride and groom to ward off and confuse demons, curses, evil spirits, Nephilim, Bigfoot, aliens, Chupacabra, ghosts, whatever the hell you want to call them. Ironic because half of you don't even believe in this crap. And it gets worse.

As we "civilized," the role of the bridal party evolved from protecting against vengeful spirits to confusing jealous suitors who might try to harm the newlyweds. You heard that right! In the olden days, if you were unfortunate enough to be selected as a groomsman or bridesmaid, you then had to worry about being kidnapped, shot—or both!

And if you wanna go even further back to biblical times, when it comes to the history of bridesmaids, one of the most well-known origin stories is that of Jacob with his two wives—keyword TWO wives, Leah and Rachel—who rocked out their wedding with their 'bridesmaids' who were actually slaves because in those days, bridesmaids were all about taking care of the bride’s needs on the wedding day and it wasn’t a thing anyone wanted to do, so guess who picked up the mantle? Slaves! 😨

Raise your hand if this is the first time you're hearing about this. 🙋

So, I ask, why on earth do we continue a tradition rooted in ancient superstition when it no longer holds any meaningful significance for most of the average population? I say it's time to rethink and modernize our wedding customs to better reflect our contemporary beliefs and values. But hey! Don’t listen to me, I’m just a random drunk lunatic on the internet.

The Practical Reasoning to Ditch the Bridal Party and Wedding Party Roles

There are several reasons why you should and should not have a bridal party for your wedding in fact, many on Reddit admit they regret having a bridal party more than regret not having one. And pretty much every wedding publication has talked about how more and more couples are skipping the bridal party, so who the hell am I to say anything on how to plan your wedding. But hear me out, ditching the bridal party can significantly streamline both the planning process and the wedding day in general.

For one, you will only have to worry about dragging yourself to the wedding and not twenty other people in matching outfits. Because imagine trying to coordinate and pose ten couples; it’s a logistical nightmare that drags out the "main photography" session unnecessarily. Especially if you don’t have a wedding coordinator or your maid of honor who refuses to do her job, which guess what? Is to help corral the bridal party to where they need to be. So if your maid of honor or best man is just gonna stand there to look pretty and not help, then they’re just stealing the spotlight off top.

On top of the bride and groom blending into the background in their own photos!

For example, if the groomsmen slap on identical suits which happens far too often than it should, distinguishing the groom becomes a game of "Where’s Waldo?" And even though bridesmaids don’t usually wear white, whatever colors they wear will make them pop out in the photos more than the bride and overshadowing her. So, I ask, why let yourself be upstaged on your own wedding? And it’s why I push for keeping the focus solely on you as the couple to ensure that when anyone looks at your wedding pictures, there will be no doubt who the main characters are. Don’t believe me? Look at this random search of pictures I did for bridal party photos. Can you pick out both the bride and or groom instantly?

Having a Bridal Party is Not Written in Stone

There's no ancient tablet dictating that you must have a bridal party for your wedding. No cosmic law saying you need to line up your siblings, best friends, cousins, side chicks, boy toys whomever, to play a starring role in your wedding. And guess what? They will still hold those titles the day after the wedding.

So, if someone is going to ditch your friendship over not being a bridesmaid or groomsman, well, doesn’t that prove my earlier point of them being more interested in the spotlight than supporting you on your wedding?

Seriously, if the title of bridesmaid or groomsman is all it takes for someone to validate their relationship with you, maybe it's time to reevaluate a thing or two. Because weddings are about celebrating love, not handing out titles like parade candy. It’s why I advocate for trimming the fat—focusing on the couple, not on who’s standing next to them dressed in matching outfits. Remember, those who truly care about you don’t need a special role to prove their worth in your life with or without a bouquet in hand. 

A Simple Nontraditional Wedding Without Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

In the whirlwind of wedding planning, it’s easy to get caught up in the details and expectations. But remember, choosing not to have a bridal party doesn’t mean your friends won’t be there. Quite the opposite in fact, because they’ll still be there celebrating with you, just without official titles. They’ll share your marriage just the same, perhaps even more authentically. Because without the pressure of roles and responsibilities, everyone’s attendance will feel more genuine not feeling obligated to show up because they were given a title.

You can still throw the bridal shower party, you can still have the bachelorette and bachelor parties, you can still do all those things, again, just without the mandatory pressure of attendance imposed on your friends. No one is going to out miss out on anything, in fact, I’ll even go as far to say your friends will secretly be thankful for not forcing them to be either a bridesmaid or groomsman. Because from the moment you start planning your wedding, a lot can change. People's availability shift, life events intervene, and the more you rely on others to play pivotal roles in your wedding, the higher the chances of last-minute dropouts.

Imagine the stress of finding last minute replacements. And by simplifying the equation, you minimize the risk of needless complications. Ensuring that your wedding is exactly that: yours, not a production that depends on the presence or performance of others. So, whether you have a bridal party or not, the people who matter most will still be there, celebrating with you. After all, the most memorable moments are those filled with love and laughter, not what tradition dictates and not the logistics of who stands where.

Remember, it’s about the marriage, not the wedding.