Quinceañera Court: Practical Advice for Choosing Your Damas and Chambelánes
Time to start planning the biggest fiesta of your life - your Quinceañera. And one of, if not the most exciting part of planning your Quinceañera party is choosing your court of honor made up of your closest friends and family members who will accompany you throughout the day. But, choosing your damas and chambelánes can be a daunting task and even intimidating for some. Don't sweat it though, I've got your back! In this easy-to-follow Quinceañera planning guide, I’ll go over simple but effect tips to help you choose your Quince court like a pro. But first, a little bit of Quinceañera history for the uninitiated.
What is a Quinceañera? A Boring Quinceañera Tradition History Lesson
Quinceañera: a significant cultural celebration for Hispanic young women turning 15, symbolizing their passage to womanhood with elaborate ceremonies and festivities. And I think we call all agree on that simple definition to what a Quinceañera is, however, most of us can’t agree on what traditions should and should not be followed.
Because when we talk about traditions in Mexican culture, having a Quinceañera party with a religious celebration beforehand is as traditional as you can get. Most of which are bloated with traditions that surprisingly many don’t even know why we follow them. Don’t believe me? Ask your parents what X tradition in a Quinceañera mean and watch them give you the usual "it’s tradition and we have always done it that way" with no further in-depth reasons.
Does anyone really know why we celebrate a Quinceañera birthday party in the first place? Or when and how this tradition began? Because the exact history of the Quinceañera celebration is not usually talked about. People just plan the party and call it a day. If you dig around however, you’ll find that historians believe a proto version of the Quinceañera was practiced in ancient Mexico around the 5th Century B.C., in which Aztec and Mayan peoples held initiation ritual ceremonies for girls marking the end of puberty and transitioning into adulthood.
For the Aztecs, this ritual consisted of dance and prayer celebrating the girl's maturity as a marriage prospect centered around the goddess Xochiquetzal representing love, beauty, and the arts. Throughout the celebration, priests would sacrifice birds and rabbits in tribute to secure the goddess's blessings on the girl transitioning to womanhood. And while we’re all familiar with the 15 candles on a Quinceañera’s cake, the custom is thought to be from blowing out a candle signifying her leaving the Aztec sun god Tonatiuh childhood protection. This candle ritual has allowed the sun worship of Tonatiuh to live on even after Christianization of the new world, veiled innocently as a birthday tradition.
Quinceañera Court of Honor at Pasadena City Hall
The Mayans however, had a similar rite but for both girls and boys to commemorate their journey into adulthood involving bloodletting rituals where the teenager would pierce their own tongue or ears with thorns or stingray spines to spill blood and offer it as nourishment to the rain gods. All while enduring tremendous amount of pain as proof of their maturity in society. Mayan Quinceañeras would then pay tribute to the corn goddess Ixchel symbolizing her readiness to bear children. The day would conclude with a large feast and gifts such as weaving tools for the girls and weapons for the boys.
Centuries later under Spanish Colonial rule, Catholic mass was incorporated into the initiation and in 1864, emperor of Mexico, Maximillian I, introduced by decree the formal waltz and bouffant ball gowns we all know today. As time went by, girls were taught traditional homemaking skills, such as weaving and cooking to prepare for marriage and children while wealthy families would host large banquets presenting their daughters to society at age 15 gifting her a tiara, a sign of both status and wealth.
As society modernized, the focus shifted from finding a husband to simply celebrating the passage from childhood to adulthood. And while Mexicans for the most part have continued this celebration we now know as the Quinceañera, many non-Hispanic cultures have embraced celebrating a "party only" version known as the Sweet 16.
What is a Quinceañera Court?
The Quinceañera court is the equivalent to a wedding party, i.e. bridesmaids and groomsmen. The girls are called damas and the young men are known as the chambelánes. Each dama is paired with a chambelán and traditionally, a Quinceañera will choose a main chambelán known as the Chambelán de Honor to be her personal escort throughout the day, but it is not always the case. Typically, the court participates in key events like the Quinceañera waltz and may assist in religious ceremonies, reflecting the journey from childhood to adulthood. Now a days, the Quince court symbolizes friendship with the Quinceañera often setting the tone of the celebration.
How Many Damas and Chambelánes are in a Quinceañera?
A Quinceañera’s court is made up of fourteen couples, each couple representing a year in your life. For a total of fifteen couples when counting both you and your main chambelán. While it sounds cute on paper, it is a nightmare to photograph and babysit thirty teenagers for a full day while adapting to thirty different personalities. So, to make everyone’s job easier, I recommend you keep your court to either three or five couples max including both you and your main chambelán. Why? Because of symmetry. Three or five couples looks balanced in photos because you will always be in the center of the group.
What Does the Quinceañera Court Do?
The only real thing your Quice court will do is perform the waltz at your party, that’s it. Outside of that, they’re pretty much there just to look cute all day. So don’t be the Quinceañera who maxes out the court count to fourteen couples for the sake of tradition. Keep your court size down to a minimum. And no, all your friends DO NOT have to be in your court to enjoy your 15. Because having a large court often complicates things and shifts attention away from you.
Choose Your Quinceañera Court Wisely
While it may seem like a fun idea to have all your friends in your court, not everyone can and will be able to afford the dress and tux, give you the afternoons required for dance practice because they might be in sports, theater or other extracurricular actives after school. Remember, the more people you have in your court, the less photos you will have of yourself because your photographer will have to divide more time photographing your court and their families.
How To Ask Friends and Classmates to Be in Your Quince Court
Asking your girlfriends to be in your 15 is not difficult because most girls love dressing up. Guys on the other hand, are a little more complicated because most guy don’t want to dress up, pose for pictures and dance in front of strangers. So, bribe them with food and tell them food will be present at every dance practice. Simply ask, "want to be in my Quince? There’s free food in it for you."
Trust me, this alone will garner a "yes" when you ask a guy to be your chambelán. If you get a "no" let it be and move on. But always deliver on your promise. Especially if you promised food at each practice. Because speaking from personal experience from the Quinceañeras I was a chambelán in, I received absolutely nothing in return for my time.
Let Your Court Choose Their Own Partner
Those in your court will be giving you hours of their time (not counting the money they will spend on the dress and tux) in exchange for pretty much nothing. So, another thing you can do next to feeding them at each practice is letting them choose their own partner from the pool you have chosen to be in your court.
Not only will it build confidence among the group by having them ask each other to be dance partners, but it will pay dividends in your photos as well. I cannot even begin to tell you how many Quinces I have photographed where couples simply did not match, and it showed in the pictures. Also, if you let them choose their own partners, they might even take the initiative to ask others who are not even your court. In turn saving you the trouble of having to ask them in the first place. Be open to the idea.
Consider Renting Chambelánes for Your Quince
Yes, renting chambelánes is a thing and my two reasons why I recommend you book chambelánes for your Quinceañera are:
One, each dance practice will be breeze, assuming you already know how to dance.
And two, the photo session will be easy to tackle because most chambelánes for hire are also models. It’s a win win.
And as I mentioned earlier, no, your friends do not have to be in your court to enjoy your party. In fact, I think you’ll be doing them a favor by not handing them the financial burden of being in your court. Something to consider these days.
Let Your Court Choose Their Own Partner
Because those in your court will be giving you hours of their time in exchange for pretty much nothing it’s a good idea if let them own partner from the pool you have chosen to be in your court. Not only will it build confidence among the group by having them ask each other to be dance partners, but it will pay dividends in your photos as well. Also, if you let them choose their own partner, they might even take the initiative to ask others who are not even your court. In turn saving you the trouble of having to ask them in the first place.
Have Only Chambelánes in Your Court
As a photographer, I prefer to photograph Quinceañeras with only chambelánes, even better if there is not court at all. Because not only does it make my job easier, but it also saves Quinceañeras a ton of stress from having to worry about everyone else. Plus, if you don’t have damas, no one will steal your spotlight at the party. It’s unfortunate to say that it happens often. And if you happen to be dating someone at the time, it might seem like a good idea to have your guy as the main Chambelán, but it will not be a good idea in the long run. Trust me.
Have Your Chambelánes Buy Their Suits and Not Rent Them
Something that has never made sense to me is why damas are expected to buy their dresses, but it’s totally fine for chambelánes to rent their suit or tux. Things should not be this way because no matter how many fittings chambelánes go in for and I’m speaking from personal experience here, they almost always end up with dirty, oversized trousers and jackets looking like they dug them up from their grandfather’s storage closet. It happened to me at every single Quince I was a Chambelán in.
And as I tell my wedding clients, rented suits are meant to fit everyone, except you.
A rented suit is what? $150 to $250 on average? For what? So, your chambelánes only use it for one day on top of feeling uncomfortable in an oversized suit all day? It’s a waste of money if you ask me because you can pick up a well fitted suit plus shoes from H&M or Target for the same price, less if you happen to catch a sale. Plus, if your chambelánes buy their own suit gues what? They’ll be able to it for prom, winter formal and graduation. Buying a suit pretty much pays for itself after a few uses.
That said, THE main reason I recommend chambelánes buy their suits is because it won’t matter how much money you spend on the fancy venue or the number of extravagant details for your reception, or even the hours and money invested in your dress, if your chambelánes show up in rented baggy suits, they WILL make your photos look cheap. Something Photoshop will not fix.
I’m not just a geeky writer you know, I’m a film wedding photographer in Los Angeles and I accept a limited number of Quinceañera clients throughout the year.
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